This July I will be 35. Yes the big 3 5, and usually I love a good birthday and a good old celebration all about little old me, but this time I’m struggling. You see turning 30 was fabulous in fact, 31 was pretty cool and 32, a fab runner up. Hey 33 and 34 were basically 30 but 35… Now that’s just insanity.35 seems like 40, I mean what’s 5 years? I haven’t swam with dolphins or been to Paris. I haven’t learnt to reverse park or drive a manual car yet (I was aiming to get that manual licence back in my teens but 35 just snuck up). I haven’t met my idol, Richard Branson (I have touched his hand but that’s another story). I haven’t been to Vegas or seen Britney live. The goals I used to write each year have turned into business goals and family goals and it has hit me, I’m going to be thirty FREAKING five. Even the number I’m not comfortable with. 34 looks cute but 35 its almost neon and screaming ONLY FIVE YEARS LEFT UNTIL FORTY.
I pictured at 35 to be more grown up, to wear matching bras and knickers, to have perfected liquid eye liner and to have learnt the art of blending in a make-up line. I thought I would have been better with money, more disciplined with a budget and diet. But yet, faster than I knew, here comes 35, ready or not, neon sign and all. So what’s a girl to do? Trade Mr Tink in for a young 20 year old? Buy a Harley or a fancy red convertible? Should I start jet-setting? What do women do when they hit a mid-life crisis?
So after much deliberation I’ve decided I’m going to join the circus! …
Just joking I haven’t gone completely insane… well not yet anyway. No, but gags aside. I’ve decided I’m going celebrate 35 and the road I’ve taken to get here. Sure, I’ve not swam with dolphins but I have given birth to two healthy babies, one who can make noises like a dolphin, so surely that’s a win! I married my crush and true, he drives me up the wall most days, but I can honestly say that still 15 years later, he is my crush.
So, when you look at it like that, two kids (one who can make dolphin noises, don’t forget!) and married my crush, 35 is not looking too bad! 34 is still on the calendar for the next few months and while I’m tempted to throw a Mariah Carey and turn 25 forever, I think I got this. No Harley or red convertible required. I am going to start praising what I have achieved and start making stuff happen. I’ve started a journal and every thought wish, goal, dream or idea that pops into my head, I write it down. It’s proving to more effective than drowning my sorrows in vodka. I write everything down and I don’t re-read it. Whatever I am thinking, write it down. You want to know something crazy? A lot of these things are actually happening. Yes, I’m still 34, I haven’t found a way to turn back the clock, but I have found my inner happy. Writing it down has put a bit of a spring in this old gal’s step. So watch this space my friends, I’ve decided to keep my journal going daily and to re-read my thoughts on my 35th birthday, with a nice big glass of French bubbles and to celebrate the crazy, and the journey within.